public schools


My Childhood Hero

Like many girls my age, I had a crush on the Bionic Woman while I was growing up. My bicycle was slathered with stickers that I had gotten somewhere, and I remember impassioned arguments with my older brother about who was better: the Bionic Woman or Wonder Woman. But as it turned out, the Bionic Woman was not my childhood hero. My childhood hero was tall, skinny, blonde, and about 9 years old. His name was Michael. 

Michael and I were on a soccer team together in El Paso called “The Thunderbirds.” I was the only girl on the soccer team, something that had never been a problem until the day my old all-guys soccer team, The Braves, showed up to play us one Saturday.

I had played with The Braves the previous year and, though I never felt particularly welcomed as a girl on the team, it had been mostly okay.

Except for one day.

That was the day Abel, who went to my school, told my teammates about what he and other boys at my school liked to do to me on the playground.

How they would chase me, surround me as a group, and take turns humping me through my clothes. From behind, forcing me to bend over. As I was lying on the ground. Mounting me if I tried to remain standing.  

In other words, they mock-gang-raped me, on a daily basis, for months.

And after hearing that, I was fair game for The Braves, too. Soccer practice became a Russian roulette of possible torture, of boys pressing themselves up to me from behind and pumping their groins against my bottom whenever we stood in line for some soccer drill.

I was eight years old.

I never told anyone.

On the day the Braves came to play The Thunderbirds, I arrived later than usual. Both teams were gathered together under a tree in Crestmont Park, the home field for The Thunderbirds. They all turned to watch as I approached, this line of boys, one team dressed in blue, the other in orange. Then, with one accord, they turned their backs on me.

I sat down and the teammate I sat down next to scooted away hastily as the other boys giggled, “Oooooohhhhh, gross.” My teammates and the players on The Braves stood up, moved quite a few feet away, and sat down again—leaving me very much alone under the tree.

I had no idea what the problem was, but it was clearly sexual in nature, something waaaaaaay beyond “cooties,” something that suggested they would be contaminated by my presence. The leering looks they threw my way from a distance made me feel dirty beyond belief.

I wondered if the boys on The Braves had told the boys on The Thunderbirds that they had “done it” with me. I wondered what they had said. I knew it was bad, whatever it was.

I held it in, because that’s all I could do. You don’t break down in the middle of a situation like this. No, you break down later. Privately. And you never, ever, ever mention it to your parents.

We only had half an hour before our game, though the way the boys were treating me made it seem like hours and hours and hours were going by. The coach tried to put us into lines to kick balls into the goal. Nobody would get into my line. If I stepped into a line, everybody moved to the other line.

I stood in my line all alone, bravely kicking ball after ball towards the goal. The two lines were supposed to take turns. So I took turn after turn after turn, returning to my invisible line, only to find a ball waiting for me.

The coaches tried to change the routine, suggesting we pass the ball to each other before we kicked it towards the goalie. But nobody would kick the ball to me and I was the only person in my line, so they decided we could keep doing what we were already doing.

Like the teachers on my playground who could have stopped the mock gang rapes I experienced on a daily basis, my coaches did nothing.

They heard the sexual taunting and they did nothing.

This went on, like I said, for what felt like hours. I was wondering how I was going to make it through the game. I was wondering about future soccer practices. For some reason, it never occurred to me that soccer, unlike school, was voluntary. If I had to endure the boys and what they did to me at school, I figured I had to endure it at soccer practice, too.

And then Michael, my shining angel of strength, deliberately moved from the other line to stand behind me.

My teammates were vocal and loud as they shouted at him, as they told him how disgusting he was to come even within inches of my flesh.

But he stood behind me in that line and jeered back. “You’re being stupid,” he said.  And I have never ever ever felt so grateful for another person’s bravery as I did at that moment.

I don’t know what kind of person Michael became. But in that moment, at least, he bucked the crowd and became my hero.

Share

Facebook Scandal

Although I am a huge fan of the ability to easily publish things on the internet–maybe I’m more into free culture than I realized–I’ve also wondered how many problems crop up. I’ve looked occasionally at ratemyprofessor.com, and though I’ve never been rated (either my students don’t love me enough or don’t hate me enough to rate me, though actually I think it has more to do with the lack of technological know-how among El Paso community college students), I’ve frequently wondered what I would do or how I would feel if one of my students wrote a bad comment about me. The New York Times today has an interesting article about what happened when some teachers at a very elite private school in New York City privately logged on to Facebook and found some hate groups directed at themselves. Scandals like these lead to questions about what “free speech” really is and really means, what privacy is and what it means, and whether posting something on a supposedly “private” site like Facebook (which is still accessed by millions of people) is actually “private” or whether it’s “publication” and thus subject to defamation claims.

Share

A State of Mess

Well, I hope California gets itself out of the mess its created…Requiring that homeschoolers meet a certain standard is one thing (a standard public schools themselves all too often fail to meet), but demanding that all kids be taught by a person who is certified to teach is another. The absurd part is that it’s obvious that certification–or should be obvious to everyone–doesn’t necessarily make someone a better teacher and doesn’t necessarily make standards in a classroom any higher. There are many good-hearted and excellent teachers out there and they are treading water, propping up a fast-sinking ship. The public school system is failing in all sorts of ways all over the country, with some clear exceptions in pockets around the country.  Actually, I’m not sure I’ve felt so much anger in a long time. The public school system is f***ed in all sorts of ways. Granted, homeschooling is not a one-size-fits-all solution, and certainly won’t solve the ills of the public school system, and there are certainly homeschoolers who should be jailed for what they do. But why should the state make it criminal for parents to  provide the best possible educational option they can for their children? Hell, yeah, I’d go get certified if that’s what it required for me to homeschool my kids–and then I’d do my best to forget everything I was taught. Learning how to teach a classroom full of 30 kids is not the same thing as tutoring a kid one-on-one.

 Will this also affect Catholic schools and other private schools that don’t require their teachers to be certified….?

Share

Thirteen Reasons Why

California-based young adult writer Jay Asher has written a thought-provoking novel, Thirteen Reasons Why, which explores the tiny things that add up and cause someone to commit suicide. The story opens when the main character, Clay Jensen, receives 7 tapes in the mail, with 13 sides recorded, each side naming one person whose actions caused a young woman to kill herself. Although Hannah Baker doesn’t blame Clay, he begins to realize for himself that he had failed to reach out to Hannah when he had a chance because his own fear of being rejected was so huge. Although I wanted to see Clay in a more active role throughout the novel (rather than simply listening to Hannah’s narrative via the tapes), the novel left me plenty to ponder. How does our behavior–even things we say or do that we consider to be jokes–influence people beyond our wildest imaginations? In what way does social behavior that many consider normal, even complimentary, actually violate people’s moral integrity and sense of control over their own body? What responsibilities do we have as teachers, parents, students, and friends to notice when something is awry in somebody else’s life? Where do we draw the line between prying into something that’s not our business and intervening, even if we end up with egg on our face? And how the hell do people who know the signs of suicide fail to notice them when they’re as obvious as sunlight? Good luck, Jay, with your future writing career and congratulations on publishing a thoughtful first novel that sets a great standard for books to come!

Share

Giving Parents Homework

Damian Frye gives the parents of his 9th-grade students homework. They have to read some of the literature his students read and comment on a blog. The students’ grade is partially dependent on whether their parents participate or not….

I’m not sure if this is brilliant and innovative (kudos to him for getting parents involved in their kids’ education) or just plain unjust. Remember how horrible  and unfair it felt for the entire class to be punished because one person misbehaved? And remember how the only way that person who got everybody in trouble would get beat up on the playground afterwards was if they were already the class scapegoat? And how it wouldn’t work to regulate behavior anyway? And if the person who got everybody punished was the class clown and cool, somehow the teacher wouldn’t use that system of punishment anyway and if by some odd chance the teacher did, that person would never get beat up on the playground afterwards even though the expectation was that somehow the kids would regulate behavior of the other students if they were all punished? Read More

Share